


The Fifth Season

by twelvefifteen



Series: i'm no hero (will you love me as i am?) [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Autumn, Canon Compliant, Chwe Hansol | Vernon-centric, Established Soonhoon - Freeform, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Spring, Summer, Winter, listen to oh my girl's ssfwl album, the fifth season is love, there are five seasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 20:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19027117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twelvefifteen/pseuds/twelvefifteen
Summary: Hansol falls in love with Seungkwan on a snowy, winter day.But he doesn't realize his feelings until the next season.





	The Fifth Season

**Author's Note:**

> hello!
> 
> this is part two of the series "i'm no hero", and basically shows the stages of hansol falling in love with seungkwan and how he deals with it. the timeline is kind of messy but just imagine this takes place in between seasons NOT of the same years.
> 
> enjoy!

Hansol falls in love with Seungkwan on a snowy, winter day.

It happens slowly, gradually, carefully, like the way a tiny snowflake falls from the sky to the white ground— it lands gently, as if it doesn't fall at all.

It happens some time in December. Hansol isn't really sure. What he remembers, though, is how it happens.

  
  


Someone screeches and Hansol wakes up with a jolt. He rubs his eyes lazily and he sits up, noticing that his roommate is nowhere to be seen. Soonyoung might have woken up early, not that it was anything new.

A loud laugh pierces the walls of his room and he sleepily rolls off the bed to check what the commotion is all about.

As soon as he takes a step into the living room, he's immediately greeted by Seokmin's loud voice. "It's snowing!" his bandmate excitedly announces.

The thought of a snowy morning raises Hansol's mood and a smile graces his face as he looks out the window and sees that— indeed, today is a snowy day.

"Oh, it really is," he says, voice merely a whisper, as he stares outside in awe.

Snowflakes fall from the sky like tiny cotton balls being sprinkled from the clouds to the ground below. He really couldn't think of any proper term to describe the image he's currently looking at but he settles with the metaphor.

Hansol hears someone grumble from behind him, and he would have acted indifferently if it weren't for the familiar whine that comes after.

He turns his head and sees a grumpy-looking Seungkwan, his hair all mussed and cheeks all puffy. It seems that he just woke up.

"I hate winter," he hears Seungkwan say.

"Playing in the snow is fun, though," Seokmin chirps from where he is eating his breakfast.

Hansol just raises an eyebrow.

"Why do you hate it?" he asks, dismissing the smiley man sitting with bent legs in front of the television.

Seungkwan sighs and slumps on the couch. He lays his head on the backrest and looks at Hansol with tired eyes. "It's cold. I hate being cold."

"The snow looks nice, though," Hansol comments as he places his hands on either side of Seungkwan's head as he stares down at him, a small smile on his face.

There are slobber stains on Seungkwan's cheek and this elicits a quiet laugh from Hansol as he wipes the marks off using his long sleeve. The action causes Seungkwan to scrunch his nose and sit up, stretching his arms up as he yawns.

"What time 'till we leave?" he asks.

"In an hour. All of you, go ahead and prepare quickly," Soonyoung says, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

A collective 'okay' echoes around the dorm and everyone immediately prepares for their usual trip to the dance studio.

  
  


Winter season is not just about the holidays and the icy weather. It's also the season of year-end awarding ceremonies which means a number of practices and rehearsals for a number of stage performances.

It gets hectic this time of the year but it's not like it was never not hectic, anyway. All of them just got really used to the constant schedule that lacks proper rest— it's their job, after all.

They arrive in groups to the studio, the performance team arriving first. Hansol sees them already doing their usual stretching routines as soon as he steps into the room.

He hears a huff from beside him and he laughs as he watches Seungkwan's face contort into an expression of displease as he grumpily enters the studio.

"Why don't you guys ever turn the heater on?" he whines as he pads over the thermostat on the corner of the room.

"Sorry, we forgot," Chan teases as he reaches his palms to touch the floor to stretch his hamstrings. They didn't really forget, they're just used to the cold while Seungkwan isn't. It's not that chilly inside the studio, anyway. Seungkwan is just being whiny.

Hansol watches as Seungkwan raises the temperature to 20 and up Celsius, he isn't sure what exact number, but he still groans, taking off the thick sweaters he took the time to wear. He throws them in a corner before joining the rest of the members who are huddled in front of the mirror.

They perform their warm ups for a brief ten minutes. Soonyoung then pads to the stereo as the members walk towards their positions without being prompted, passionate eyes looking straight into their reflections in the mirror in front of them.

The performance leader counts _'5, 6, 7, 8'_ before pressing play, and the group's daily practice commences.

  
  


Dance practice usually takes five to six hours with intermittent breaks in between. It's the same for today.

Sweaty bodies slump onto the cold, wooden-tiled floor as Soonyoung announces the end of today's rehearsal.

"I want to play in the snow," Seokmin offhandedly announces after he takes a swig of water from his tumbler.

"Aren't you—like—tired or something?" someone comments and Hansol isn't sure if it's Jeonghan or Joshua who says it. He's too exhausted to care.

"Yeah, but like— _snow!"_ Seokmin gestures wildly as if his actions in itself would convince everyone to join him in his winter escapades.

"I'll join," Seungcheol says as he wiggles an eyebrow at Soonyoung who returns the action with a bright grin. It looks like both leaders are in for play time.

Hansol watches as Soonyoung rolls over to where Jihoon is lying, and he lets out a loud laugh when the former places all of his weight on top of the smaller, the latter only letting out a small 'oof' in response.

"Jihoonie, let's play," Soonyoung singsongs and the other only replies with a roll of his eyes, but there is a tiny upturn on his lips. Looks like the tiny producer would join Seokmin's winter playtime too. Good, that means Hansol won't be lonely if ever he decides to join.

Hansol searches the room for his same-aged friend. He spots him with his head on top of the sleeping Mingyu's stomach as he fiddles with his phone, probably checking his instagram.

"Hey," Hansol says as he sits beside Seungkwan. "You coming too?"

"Hm?" Seungkwan hums and places his phone on his chest before placing his full attention on Hansol. The latter's heart swells with an unknown emotion.

"Seokmin wants to play in the snow," he explains.

A pout grows on Seungkwan's lips and Hansol tries not to stare at the way they glisten due to the fluorescent lights on the ceiling.

"I hate the cold," Seungkwan says and Hansol gets disheartened for a second but the other continues speaking, "But I also want to play. So I guess I'll join."

Hansol's grin just grows into a bigger gummy smile, his eyes crinkling at the sides and his chest screaming in quiet glee.

Without hesitation, he decides that he'll also join Seokmin in his winter escapade since Seungkwan is coming.

  
  


Shouts and laughter permeate the chilly air as limbs struggle against another and bodies clash as the members escape from white, icy snow balls being catapulted to their faces by their fellow bandmates.

Seungkwan bumps into Hansol and they both fall to the ground, the soft blanket of snow covering the asphalt catching both of them. Hansol's arms wound around the other in reflex and his mouth lets out a small grunt as Seungkwan's weight pins him down.

Few notes of tinkling laughter reaches his ears and he looks up. He sees a bright-faced Seungkwan, flushed to the tips of his ears, with a huge grin on his face. The latter's laughter infects Hansol and soon enough a loud chuckle bubbles up his throat.

"Hey, Hansol," Seungkwan says as he makes himself comfortable on top of the other.

"Hm?" Hansol tilts his head curiously and he watches as Seungkwan stares at him for a few seconds. A small, churning sensation bothers his stomach and he could suddenly hear his heart thudding so loudly. He's afraid Seungkwan might hear his nervousness.

Seungkwan's expression brightens and he shakes his head before saying, "Nothing." Hansol gets surprised when his friend casually flicks his forehead before quickly standing back up to run back to their other bickering members, leaving a frozen and confused Hansol behind.

Red stains the spot Seungkwan hit and Hansol rubs the pain off with his palm as a quiet whine leaves his lips. He sits up and watches as Seungkwan continuously throws several snowballs to Seokmin and Chan's direction. When he hears that same tinkling laughter he heard just a few seconds ago, he couldn't help the chuckle that leaves his lips.

There's a flush on Seungkwan's cheeks that Hansol couldn't help but admire. It makes the other look more childlike and innocent. The word "pretty" appears in his head as he sees the soft pink dusting the tip of Seungkwan's button nose, and he quickly shakes his head to erase those thoughts. Men couldn't be pretty— that's against society's rules. But then again, when did Hansol ever become a follower of the norm. He has always been known as a deviant and he is a firm believer of his own principles.

So, okay then. Fine. He'll admit it. Seungkwan looks pretty and maybe that description is still an understatement because, as he watches the laughing man a few meters away from him, the only thing that his mind could come up with is the word "beautiful".

Snowflakes scatter messily on Seungkwan's chestnut-colored hair, and Hansol imagines the other sitting on his lap as he carefully plucks out stray snowflakes off of mussed up locks while allowing Seungkwan to gaze down at him with his usual, heart-fluttering smile.

Hansol coughs to himself as he realizes what the image he just procured in his mind implies. He also pinches his arm to wake himself up from his reverie.

After a few more seconds of collecting himself, he takes a deep breath and exhales. He stands back up and carefully tackles Seungkwan to the ground, making sure that the ground is soft enough to not hurt his friend, beaming smiles appearing on both of their faces. He later on forgets the thoughts that bothered his heart a few moments ago.

  
  


Hansol falls in love with Seungkwan that day.

But Hansol doesn't realize his feelings until the next season.

  
  


_( I think it’s you, scattering these white petals in my heart  
_ _I think it’s you, piling them up at my feet_

 _You’ve sprouted a little bud which has quickly grown into a thick tree  
_ _Your dark green leaves have filled my sky  
_ _You make my small heart quake  
_ _I think I’ve changed because of you )_

 

 

 

Like flower buds slowly blooming as spring starts, Hansol's awareness toward Seungkwan flourishes.

Hansol's consciousness towards his same-aged friend unfurls as a single petal at first, due to a small habit Hansol has never noticed before, until it progressively ends up into a field of newly blossomed flowers filling up Hansol's once dull heart with a variety of colors.

It starts on an uneventful night, a very anticlimactic event, yet for Hansol, this specific moment is one that will forever be burned at the back of his head, never to fade any time soon.

 

All lights are closed and everyone is asleep except for two members.

Hansol has never really noticed it but Seungkwan has this habit of never being able to fall asleep without hugging a pillow, a stuffed toy, or just _anything_.

Which places them into this current, uncompromising situation.

"Can I hug you?" Seungkwan whispers as he places an arm over Hansol's stomach.

Hansol stiffens and he looks at the other, his heart suddenly thudding hard against his ribcage.

"The bed is already small for the both of us so I can't just place another pillow in between which I can hug to sleep, so can I just hug you?" Seungkwan says, his voice a tad whinier this time. Hansol can sense the tiredness in his tone.

This is all Soonyoung's fault. Him and his urges. Why can't they just use Jihoon's room to do their sickening couple activities? Why does Hansol have to get kicked out of his _own_ room?

It's not as if Hansol is not used to sleeping beside Seungkwan; however, these days, even a small smile from the slightly older boy flips a switch in his brain that turns his body into overdrive.

He's actually been avoiding Seungkwan the past few days ever since he's been trying to figure out the unfamiliar sensations his stomach feels whenever he catches even a tiny glimpse of the other man. Even the tiniest details—the lost eyelash on Seungkwan's cheek, the moles on Seungkwan's ear, the small upturn of the corners of Seungkwan's lips when he grins, the shine in Seungkwan's eyes—makes the tips of his fingers tingle

This is all Soonyoung's fault. And Seungkwan. For gallantly offering his bed to Hansol.

It's not like he had a choice.

So here he is, on Seungkwan's bed, with Seungkwan's arm on top of his stomach, his heart beating so loud it could rival a marching band, and his—

"Hansol," Seungkwan whisper-shouts in his ear, successfully interrupting his thoughts.

"Y- yeah?"

He hears a sigh escape Seungkwan's lips and the gentle weight on top of him slowly disappears.

"Fine. I'll try to sleep without hugging something. Not like it's a requirement or something, anyway," the shorter mumbles under his breath as he curls into himself.

Seeing this, Hansol takes in a deep breath and exhales. He lays on his side and gingerly grabs Seungkwan's wrist, placing it around his waist. He can never really resist his best friend.

He swallows the growing lump inside his throat and he ignores the heat travelling from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

The small, shy smile that Seungkwan rewards him hits his heart like an arrow and it hurts, but it's the good kind of pain.

Hansol tries to speak but his voice comes out croaky, "I- it's okay. You can hug me."

"Really?" The bright grin on Seungkwan's face sends butterflies to flutter inside Hansol's stomach.

"Yeah," Hansol says, in awe, as his brain comprehends the beauty in front of him.

Seungkwan, with his messy hair, tired eyes, and puffy cheeks, makes him feel an array of emotions he has never experienced before. It all hits him like a crashing wave but it's unusual. It's unusual because it isn't overwhelming. In fact it feels a bit more—

Comfortable and warm?

Like a question in his head suddenly gets answered. Or like a missing puzzle piece suddenly completes the picture boggling his mind.

The sensations spiralling around his chest brings him an unexplainable warmth, and when Seungkwan tightens his embrace and buries his nose into Hansol's thick sweater, all he could feel is home. There are no fireworks, no bursting of balloons, no surprising confetti poppers. There's only comfort and the feeling of cozy mornings and soft laughter.

The turmoil inside Hansol's head slowly decrescendos into white noise until the only sounds he could hear are Seungkwan's even breathing.

He looks down and sees that the other has already fallen asleep. Seungkwan found peace within his arms and it fills Hansol with a kind of happiness he couldn't explain—the type of happiness he only experiences when Seungkwan is present.

Dismissing the confusion in his head for later, Hansol settles and falls asleep after a few quiet minutes, his arms around Seungkwan's middle and his face buried on top of the latter's head.

He'll deal with his emotions again tomorrow.

 

 

When Seungkwan gets overly stressed, past the line of being able to hold it in, he tends to keep quiet and withdrawn to himself. It's a habit Hansol always knew.

So when Seungkwan gets a number of individual schedules amidst their usual rehearsals and recording sessions, with a little amount of rest in between, Hansol knew it won't take long until his best friend isolates himself from the group.

It starts with a small commotion before an interview.

"Seungkwan, you look weird today," Chan teases as he nudges the older. Everyone knew that he's only joking—it has always been his way of being affectionate towards the other.

The youngest only got a purse of the lips as a reply, and he's quite slow and too passionate, so he continues his mischief, oblivious to the discomfort the older is experiencing.

"Seungkwan, your cheeks look bloated today," Chan teases further, but Seungkwan continues to stay silent, his eyes focused on his reflection on the mirror.

The members, one by one, gradually starts to notice the tense air filling the dressing room, and Hansol sees Jeonghan walk towards the cause.

Hansol watches Seungkwan's expressions through his reflection on the mirror. He watches as conflicting emotions paint his face into a variety of canvases. He sees Seungkwan's eye twitch as Chan continues to jab jokes at him, and he sees the way his fingers grip the material of his jeans as he suppresses what seems to be anger and irritation.

A breath of relief escapes Seungkwan's lips when Jeonghan pulls the youngest away, his tense shoulder relaxing and the creases on his forehead disappearing. Hansol continues to watch the other's reflection in the mirror and he sees Seungkwan take two small deep breaths before a wide grin appears on his face.

Seungkwan's back to his bubbly self, but Hansol knows that it's all just a pretense. Seungkwan is good at hiding his feelings, but Hansol has observed him a little too much causing him to know when his expressions are a lie.

He stands up from the couch and walks towards Seungkwan’s side before squatting down, his eye-level lower to show that he’s not there to barge into his best friend’s safe space. He looks up and sees the other man looking at him in confusion, but past those, Hansol could see the barely concealed dark circles under his eyes and the weariness hidden behind his fake smile.

The exhaustion in Seungkwan’s eyes reflects worry into Hansol’s own, and he only notices when the other frowns, his expression almost chastising.

“I’m okay,” Seungkwan says, answering the question written on Hansol’s face. He shows a small, yet genuine smile and Hansol sighs in defeat.

“Okay,” Hansol replies, hooking his pinky around his best friend’s to imply that no matter what, and no matter how long, he’ll always be by his side.

 

 

Later that night, on their way back to their dorms, Seungkwan does the same.

The maknae line are seated at the back of the van, with Hansol in the middle. The latter is listening to music through his headphones when he feels something wrap around his right pinky. He gazes down and sees Seungkwan’s finger slightly interlaced with his, and when he traces his eyes up, he sees Seungkwan staring at the blurred view of the streets outside the car window, the street lights highlighting the exhaustion on his face.

Hansol looks back down at their hands and he places his palm beneath Seungkwan's. He silently laces their fingers and, after a few quiet seconds, the latter gives him a gentle squeeze in reply.

Hansol smiles. He’ll give Seungkwan all the time he needs.

 

 

"Jihoon hyung."

"Yeah?"

"How did you realize that you have feelings for Soonyoung hyung?"

The clicking of the keys stop for a bare second before it resumes again. A small, light laugh echoes around the studio.

“Why do you ask?”

Hansol lets out a sigh as he slumps his chin on his arms. He stretches his legs on the black couch in Jihoon’s studio as he lays down on his stomach. “Just curious,” he simply says.

“Have you heard this song?” Jihoon asks as he scrolls on the music application on his computer. “I’ll let you listen to the chorus.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Jihoon chuckles as he presses play. “Just listen.”

Hansol rolls his eyes but follows the older’s instructions. He sits up and slouches on the couch as a song plays through the speakers.

Jihoon hums to the tune.

_You know, they say if it’s love, you will know it at once._  
_They say you will know it without a doubt or hesitation.  
I think I know who that person is now_

_Lalalalalalala you’re blooming for me_  
_Dizzying like a haze_  
_Lalalalalalala you’re coming to me  
I’m dreaming with my eyes wide open_

The song ends as quickly as it starts, Jihoon pressing pause when the first chorus ends.

Hansol looks at him with creased eyebrows, confusion painted on his face. “Is this Oh My Girl’s new song?”

“Mhm,” Jihoon replies, twirling his chair twice. “You asked me how I found out about my feelings for Soonyoung. This is my answer.”

“I don’t get it.”

Another bubbly laugh escapes Jihoon’s lips and Hansol stares at him, more bemused than ever.

Jihoon shrugs as he replies, “No one ever does.” And he starts singing, _“You know, they say if it’s love, you will know it at once. They say you will know it without a doubt or hesitation.”_

“Now, you’re just playing with me, Hyung,” Hansol lets out a whine.

Jihoon tuts. “Just stop denying your feelings, Sol. I did that before and it ended up badly for me. Good thing Soonyoung has the patience of a rock.”

“I’m not denying anything!”

Jihoon stares at him, deadpan, and Hansol swallows the lodge in his throat. The older chuckles again before looking at him knowingly.

“The fact that you’re asking me this means that you’re having doubts about your own feelings.”

Hansol sighs. “I don’t know, Hyung,” he starts, his voice defeated. “What if I’m just mistaken? I don’t even know how liking someone really feels like. What if I’m wrong?

Jihoon hums and sits beside him, wrapping an arm around the younger’s shoulders. He looks at him seriously. “What do you feel when you’re with _him_?” he asks, emphasizing the last word.

Hansol’s eyes widen in surprise and he quickly turns to look at the shorter man. Does Jihoon know about his conflicting feelings toward Seungkwan? Do the other members know too?

As if sensing the question in Hansol’s head, Jihoon just raises his eyebrows as if saying that he knows everything.

“It’s not as if you’re good at keeping your feelings to yourself, Sol,” Jihoon teases, his lips curving up into a smirk. “You stare at him as if he’s your world.”

Hansol groans into his palms before mumbling, “I do not.”

“Yes you do. Now answer my question. What do you feel when you’re with him?”

Hansol sighs and looks up, removing his hands off of his face in the process. It takes only a few seconds for him to find the answer to Jihoon’s question.

“I feel at home.”

Jihoon simply smiles at his reply.

 

 

When Hansol sees Seungkwan smiling like usual the next day—his usual genuine, bright smile—the flowers inside his chest blooms, and he realizes, that indeed when it’s love, you’ll know it at once without doubt and hesitation.

As Seungkwan turns and looks at him, shining eyes crinkled at the sides and a beautiful grin on his face, he thinks that he has already found his person.

On a warm, spring day, Hansol finally realizes that he has fallen in love with his best friend, Seungkwan.

 

_( I can see the fifth season behind those faraway trees_  
_It’s the first time I’ve felt this kind of nervous excitement_  
_Your name makes my heart race )_


End file.
